You really coming over, don't trick.
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
