It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
