you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
