i permit you to call me
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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