He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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