First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
