You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
