are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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