I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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