sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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