Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
