i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
