3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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