she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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