My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
