bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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