i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
