grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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