I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
