How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
