if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
