And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
