we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
