WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Randomize
