Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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