He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
