She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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