Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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