He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
