You don't have asthma, your pregnant
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
