If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
