And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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