they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
