I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Randomize
