And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
