Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
