It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
