Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
