i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
