it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
