She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
