I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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