The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
