My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
