is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
