Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
