Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
