your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
