I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
