what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
