after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
